Sweeney's random victims
by Skullets
Summary: Sweeney is on a killing spree, murdering random characters and people, that readers requested R&R!
1. captain jack sparrow

_Welcome to Sweeney Todd's random victims! Here you see any people (real or not) get kill by the demon barber of Fleet Street! Today it's Captain Jack Sparrow_

**Captain Jack Sparrow**

Jack and his crew raided Fleet Street, looking for answers. He walked past a dingy, gross store, _Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop_. He strolled inside and a pale woman with frizzy hair was smacking dough with a rolling pin.

"Miss, what is that you're selling?" Jack curiously asked and peered over the countertop.

"Meat pies." She replied and squished something with her elbow, "Here," she handed him one on a dusty plate, "try one." Jack peeled away the uncooked top layer and scooped some _meat_ out and smelled it. His nose cringed and he tossed the pie over his shoulder when she wasn't looking.

"You got some hair there," She remarked and wiped off the flour, "I know an amazing barber." she smiled at those words and rinsed some caked plates.

"What would his name be?" Jack rubbed his stubble chin, "He might be of service."

She grinned broadly and pulled him to the bottom of a rusty staircase. He hesitated for the first step but she pushed him.

"Well, go on, now." she urged and shoved him onto the first step. Jack did a few steps at a time till he reached the walk way. The platform creaked under him. A bell attached to the door rang when he opened it. A ghostly white man with messy black hair lined with a streak of white leaned and looked outside a big window.

"Are you the barber?" Jack asked and stalked by the chair.

"Yes, sit down." The man wavered a white sheet by it and he sat in it.

"What is your name?" Jack wondered as the man laid the sheet over him.

"Sweeney Todd," He replied faced him at the front than walked back behind, "You're not from here, I'm guessing." he started sharpening his silver razor blade.

"No, I'm not-" Sweeney started spreading the shaving cream, "Is Sweeney even a real name?" Jack asked through the grit of his teeth. Sweeney held the blade under Jack's ear and dragged it up, he continued till he reached the chin, then he answered.

"No, it's not." his blade drew a small amount of blood, but Jack jumped to his feet, taking out his sword.

"You know, there's really no place like London." he said and grinned.

"You don't get any better than this." Todd mimicked Jacks smile and flipped around his razors. The sword lunged and Sweeney batted it away. Sparrow slashed and the blades fell from Todd, who ripped the sword from him and held it to Jack's neck.

"Touché?" He tried Sweeney easily pierced through the jugular veins, both of them. He pulled back the sword and Jack's neck surged with bright red, sticky blood that sprayed everywhere. Todd hauled Sparrow into hit metal chair and stepped on the pedal. The corpse fell through the hole. Sweeney tugged his lapel of his waistcoat and wiped the blood clean from the room for the next customer.

_Did I spell the Mrs. Lovett's name correctly? I don't know. Did you like it? Let me know and request more people. Here's what's been PM'd so far_

_Sanguine, Deacon (from the end of the world), Skulduggery, himself, Mrs. Lovett, Toby, Joanna, Tim Burton, Emily (corpse bride), oddly enough Facebook guy (Mark Zukerberg), and Hannah Montana…like before, request more and help pick the next victim._


	2. lady gaga

_Went to wiki and there's alternative names for Mrs. Lovett, I'm using Nellie Lovett from the 1982 Sweeney Todd movie. Got a review from Hottyjonny, I think today I'll choose…_

**Lady Gaga**

Sweeney was upstairs cleaning his last victim's remains. Nellie Lovett was dusting plates. And Lady Gaga waltzed through the alleyways wearing a hysterical costume involving clocks and vinyl.

She read the sign and decided to walk in, getting her hair caught on the bell.

"Hello there." Mrs. Lovett said, not bothering to look.

"Hi." she responding and tried to sit down without breaking something, "Uh, what are those?"

"Did you not read the sign? They're meat pies." Nellie plopped one down on a cracked plate and dropped it on her table.

"They look strange." Gaga examined it and picked off a piece.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

Her eyes narrowed and she stood up, making her way to the door. Sweeney opened it on the other side and arched his brows. "Excuse me, miss." He carefully stepped around her and brought his attention to Nellie.

"What do you need?" she asked.

"A steel sponge, please." She rolled her eyes and handed one to him. The sponge was dazzling to Gaga, a new inspiration to her. Sweeney made his way over her attire and climbed the rusted stairs. She waited for a few minutes and followed up when Mrs. Lovett wasn't looking.

She carefully stepped up, getting her stilettos caught in holes. At the top, she scampered across the walkway to the door. Gaga peered through the window and saw the barber scrubbing away at the chair. Whenever he took his glanced to her direction she ducked.

Inside, Sweeney was scrubbing some dry blood away from past kills, it was quite hard to get off. He had a regular feeling, somebody was watching. Todd glanced at the window every so often, he didn't spot anyone, until-

He took one more glance and Gaga ducked again. Her stiletto's heel fell through a hole and she almost tumbled back. She grabbed the door's handle and the door made a creaking sound when she let go.

"Shit." she muttered and brought her look back to the barber but he wasn't there. _Where is he? _she thought and decided to go in. Gaga stepped in and looked around, everywhere but behind herself. Todd wrapped around her, bringing razor to neck.

"What were your intentions?" he asked.

"Nothing, really, I just like that sponge, that's all. Please." she begged.

"That's a ridiculous lie, now." he slightly laughed, "Almost as ridiculous as you, dear."

"I'll do anything." she desperately offered, "_Anything_."

He paused to think, "Anything?"

"Yeah, yes! Anything!" she stomped her heel on his shoe and Todd released, more because of shock than pain. Gaga scampered across the room grabbed a razor on the a counter. "Stay away from me!" she cried and lunged the warn to warn him.

Sweeney narrowed his eyes and swooped low and slashed her shin, making her crouch. He then stood up quickly raked her neck, ear to ear, with his razor. Her blood drizzled on dress of clocks and vinyl. Gaga slumped into the chair. Her stepped on the pedal and the corpse fell through the hole. Landing with plastic clacks.

Sweeney continued cleaning, Lovett back to dusting and Gaga gained her steel sponge that fell with her.

_There is a conspiracy about the illuminati and Gaga, personally I think it's an excuse for Michael Jackson's death…If curious, go to you tube and type in "lady gaga born this way illuminati break down" it's truly ridiculous…meh_


	3. Justin Beiber

_The readers has spoken! The next victim is…_

**Justin Beiber**

Justin was being swarmed by fans screaming his name. His bodyguards could only handle so many before they were trampled over. He sprinted down the alleys of London, trying to find safety. He found a disgusting old place. _Perfect _he thought_ who would even try to find me in there?_

Inside, no one was present. Justin leaned against a chair and occasionally peeked outside. He was there for about five minutes before he got bored. Justin hummed out new lyrics to pass time. Mrs. Lovett stormed through, muttering to herself

"You OK, lady?" he asked, not really caring. She glanced at her customer and frowned.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

Confused, Justin walked up to the counter. "How could you _not_ know me?" he smiled and flipped his hysterical hair to the side. She shrugged and started pressing dough with her palms. "Uh, hello? Number one song on the charts."

"That's a horrible clue, boy."

Justin's eyes narrowed, offended, his fist hit the counter, "I'm sure you make horrible… things!"

"Actually, they are." Sweeney stepped into the door and glanced at Justin and brought his attention to Nellie. "Need anything, Todd?" she asked.

"A little bit a liquor, please." She poured him a shot and he took it.

Sweeney looked at Justin and Beiber looked at Todd, "What _ridiculous _you have!" they both exclaimed, furious with one another.

"Yeah, well…" Justin rubbed his hair, "at least my hair starts trends."

Sweeney didn't respond, just raised his brow. "Alright then." He gulped down his shot and headed upstairs.

"That's it?" Justin called from the bottom step. "Coward." he muttered.

"I wouldn't recommend you do that, love." Nellie advised by the door.

"Yeah? Try me!" he stormed up the stairs, stomping a little too hard. Beiber broke a step and slipped through, he clung on the upper step and called for help.

"I don't think so." Nellie said and walked back inside. Sweeney heard the commotion and walked to the scene.

"Aw, man, you got to help me!" he pleaded and re-grasped to edge. Todd smiled and help out his hand. Beiber grabbed it with both hands.

"I don't think so." Sweeney's smile broadened and let go.

"What the hell?" he slipped one hand off and rose his middle finger and fell to the cement stairs underneath. Todd rushed down, readying his blades. Justin was crawling his way up when Todd stood at the top.

"Nice hair." Sweeney commented. Justin barely frowned and his hair felt wet and sticky, his hand came back and it was dripping blood. He hoisted himself to his feet, began to limp downwards. He opened the locked door and stepped in.

"_ما العاهرة "_ Sweeney muttered to himself and ran in after.

By the fire oven there were bodies piled on top of each other, drenched in blood.

"W-what the hell?" Beiber breathed. Tobias, who often worked down there, try to hid behind the oven. "You!" he pointed at Tobias "What is this place?"

"I, I-I…" he was frozen, couldn't move, couldn't talk.

"Well?" Tobias's pause made Beiber focus on him, perfect for Sweeney.

He stalked behind Justin and quenched his hair and quickly sliced across his veins.

"Shall I clean up after you, sir?" Tobias offered, grabbing a steel sponge that was on a body and started scrubbing.

"Yes," he started leaving and turned back, "Stall more often."

"Alright…?" Todd left the scene. Tobias stared at Beiber. "What ridiculous hair." he murmured and hauled the body.

_Little mini contest here… if you can translate what Sweeney muttered without using Google or the internet and say what the language is you get to pick the next victim. Here's what to include: quote what he said, what language it is, and the next victim's name… bye!_


	4. Emily

_OK, I was short on ideas for victims so I came across a review asking how I kill Emily from Corpse Bride. You'll now find out! By the way, I hate it but it must be done; Barkis is the good guy! Ew, I know._

**Emily**

Emily was promised to live in safety with her fiancés, Lord Barkis, as long as she brought gold and a bag of money.

"Emily?" Barkis quietly called out, "Are you there, My Sweet?"

She looked around the old oak tree to find him, "William, is that you?" he stepped out and smiled greatly at her in her wonderful gown.

"Did you bring the money?" he asked and looked in the bag, "Perfect, now we can runaway together."

"Will it be enough?" she held his hands and looked into his eyes.

"It more than we need." he gripped her hand and they didn't even take step when Sweeney Todd stepped out of the blue and into the moonlight.

"Todd!" Barkis gasped and shoved Emily behind him, "What are you doing here?"

Sweeney whipped out his razors, "_Her_." he darkly said and moved in. Barkis grabbed the bag of money and hit Sweeney in his face.

"What for? Why do you want to kill her?" he ordered, "I demand to know."

"I was hired by Lady Victoria." he answered and lunged past him, pulling Emily in his grasp, "Now, she dies."

Barkis leaped on him, making his razor slice her cheek. Emily slipped away from the fight and watched in terror. Todd here, Barkis there, vise versa. They batted each others' weapons away with what they had.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Emily cried and pulled a branch off of the tree and swung it at Todd. "Now, who is Lady Victoria?"

"I don't know exactly but she comes from a family of great wealth- or _had_ it." he flipped Barkis over his shoulder and onto the ground, "I'm not cheap."

"You never were a _murderer for hire_, Todd." Barkis breathed as he stood up.

"Yes, I never was, but I thought I might give it a shot."

"We all need a hobby." Barkis skid on the ground, behind Sweeney and swiped out a razor, bringing it to his neck. "Now what are you going to do?" he teased. Emily stepped up to Todd, was something familiar about him?

"You!" she shrieked, "You killed Turpin!"

"The Judge?" Todd asked wriggled out of his grip, "What about him?"

"He was my father!"

"He was a monster!" he countered, "I did you a favor."

"How so? He never did anything bad."

"He stole my wife and daughter from me." his face was cold and hard, "Poor thing." he murmured.

"Excuse me?" she blinked a few times.

"Nothing." his focus returned and lunged towards her pulling her into another hold.

"Todd, I'm not going to ask you again. Let. Her. Go."

"Oh, but I won't." instead of slicing across her neck he drives the branch through her heart, making her fold onto the ground, gasping for a single breath. What escaped her mouth was coughs of blood, staining the soil.

"There." Sweeney yanked out the branch and dropped it beside him. He left his crime, an unusual one, but one nevertheless.

Barkis fell to his knees and swayed side to side. "Emily!" he cried and parted her dirty brown hair away from her face.

"William?" she whispered, "Leave, please."

"Never, I'll do anything for you, I swear."

"Promise?"

"Yes, anything."

She gurgled out more blood, "Kill Lady Victoria, take the money to find her and _kill_ her." she gave a death rattle and went slump.

Barkis sobbed till the next morning and positioned Emily peacefully laying down, hold a Baby's Breath close to her heart. He trudged back to London, planning forever to keep his promise.

_I don't know, epilogue anyone?_… _I talked to a friend recently and here's how it went._

"_hey, which Tim Burton character do you hate the most?"_

"_Victor, from Corpse Bride."_

"_Why?"_

"_This is what __really__ happened. Emily was waiting for Bonejangle to propose but damn Victor took her. Thinking there was no hope for her and BJ (that's Bonejangles by the way) she went with him. Jealous, Victoria hired Barkis to kill Victor."_

_Strange plot, I would add in more if it was mine- wait new story! What do you think?_


	5. Medusa

_I was kinda' stuck on characters so I chose…_

**Medusa**

"Nellie," Sweeney Todd began to rant, "I've haven't had a _customer _in ages!"

"Well," she snapped, "It's not my fault!"

"Has word got out? Do people know that I'm a killer?"

"What? The police would have been here already!"

"It must be your pies then."

"Oh bloody hell, everyone knows that I make the worst pies ever! It's as if everyone can't even walk!"

Sweeney sighed, his face returning to the usual pale, losing his rage. "I'm sorry."

She nodded and whipped her flour-covered hands on her corset, "Liquor?"

"Please." she smiles and pours a shot for him. Sweeney reached for it and gulps it down.

The enter bell rings and a slender man steps through. "I'd like a shave, please."

Mrs. Lovett and Todd both mischievously smiled, "Of course, right this way." he guided the man up to the loft space and the man sat on the chair. "A _close _shave, I presume?"

"Yes." Todd started sharpening the razor.

"Are you from around here?"

"No, actually I was going to visit a friend but I can't find him at all." Sweeney stopped and the door opened to a woman wearing a hooded cloak, only showing her red lips.

"Miss, I doubt you need a shave."

"I was just checking to see if there were _survivors_."

"W-what?" the man stood up, "I demand to know your name, ma'am."

"Medusa." she removed her hood and the man gasped. Todd obverted his eyes. Snakes coiled on her head, replacing her hair.

The man tried to run away but his feet frozen. He looked down, up to his knees he was rock, it spread like wild fire all over his body. His last look was targeting her. When he was frozen solid Todd took charge.

"I thought you were mythical." his eyes stayed on the ground, "As in not real."

"Well, I'm here."

"Medusa; from the resemblance of the tentacles to the snakes on Medusa's head."

"Very good," she teased, "now, look at me."

"I'm good."

"Are you now? Aren't you even curios at to what I look like?"

"No, not really."

She huffed and pulled her hood over her face. "Do you dare look?"

Todd hesitated and looked back at her. "I'm sure you _were_ beautiful." he said. Her lips smiled tenderly. "But now who ever looks at your hideous face turns to stone." she scowled.

"Must I kill you too?"

"No, I'll do it."

"Nuh-uh, Ladies first." her hood fell off, revealing her snakes.

Todd shut his eyes and lunged forward, taking four snakes' heads off.

"Now, now, please, can't we be professional with this?" medusa teasingly asked. She stepped closer, standing face-to-face, the snakes prodded his face. "Sneak a _peek_." she said.

Sweeney could feel each scale on every snake that grazed his flesh. "You want to be professional? Then put your hood back on."

She sighed, "If I must." Medusa pulled the hood over her eyes, but she could still see just as clearly.

Todd didn't bother to check, his eyes opened and he looked at her. Tall, slim, and from what he could see, fair skin. She _was_ beautiful, at one point though. He shook his head, she was beautiful, but now, competition. "Why are there _no_ people left in this town?" he demanded.

She laughed darkly. "All them turned to stone, why do you think I'm here?"

"That's a little unfortunate." Todd murmured.

"To who? What have you been up to?" she stepped closer, Todd stepping back in return.

"I-I run a business." he coolly defended.

"Oh? A barber shop, I think?"

"There's more to that." this time Sweeney stepped to her, sliding behind and placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Like what?" Medusa's hood moved to her shoulder. Sweeney raised his blade close to her neck. Seeing this, Medusa slipped under and returned to her position. "You tried to kill me?"

He shrugged, "And you killed all my customers."

"Where do you hide them?" Medusa changed her tone.

"In the pies." in a swift move, Todd hooked around her and raked the razor across her. She sagged on the ground and Todd smiled in triumph.

Her hood fell off and revealed her face. Fair, soft, and gorgeous. To break the moment, Nellie stepped through the door and stared. "Is everything OK?"

He snapped back, "Fine. Get Tobias to get this fixed up."

"I'll do it, Tobias is bed ridden, and it'll be a while before anymore victims come by."

"Do you need help?" Todd offered.

"Uh, yeah. Can you take the statue out please?" she pointed to the marvel man.

He nodded, "Of course, b-" he faltered. "Don't you care as to who this is?"

Nellie shrugged, "Not really" and started handling the corpse.

"Just be careful-" Nellie shrieked as Medusa's corpse twitched and wrapped around her. Todd obverted his vision away, "Don't look at her,"

"No problem."

He nodded, "Medusa, you were dead."

"_Was_, legends don't die." Nellie cringed her nose and her eyes opened.

"Legend?" she looked at Medusa. Like the man, the spread started at her feet and crept all around her body. As hard as she could there was no escape, she was completely immobilized. "Todd." she breathed and became a marble statue.

Todd stood in awe, Nellie Lovett was gone, his only friend, dead.

Medusa laughed triumphantly, "Bye now." and she crumpled to dust and swept away with the wind.

Todd fell to his knees and stared at Nellie's stoned feet, wishing her back.

_I'm sorry it had to end like this but I needed some drama to make up for the lack of postings. Anyway to get Nellie Lovett back? Tell me!_


End file.
